My Poem of Prayer.

Where is the change that I seek

The peace which I so desire to find?

Lord, lately I don’t seem to understand

The plans for me which You have in mind.

My heart is heavy

My mind confused.

Will there ever be a “Yes” or an open door?

Because at this point my plans seemed to fall the floor.

I’m not sure where to go,

I’ve no clue what I want to do.

All I know is that despite it all,

My desire is still to serve You.

I pray I’ll make a difference

in someone else’s day,

so that I can show them Your Love,

Your Grace, Your Plan to light the way.

The Bible says that I’m Your “workmanship,”

Which I’ll never understand.

How a lowly unfaithful sinner like me

can be a masterpiece from Your hand.

And if I am this Masterpiece

with so many cracks and flaws,

Why do You continue to love and guide me

when I sometimes doubt you hear me at all?

I’m sorry Lord for this I confess

Is my problem as of late.

I want to follow Your will for me,

But too often I lack the patience to wait.

This is what You test,

My patience and not my Faith.

For You know my mind and You know my heart

And here in lies the great debate.

You see my mind doesn’t always listen

To the things that my heart says.

My heart knows you have plans for me,

For in your Word that promise I read.

I have followed you through the deep dark Valleys

With the Mountaintop as the goal.

Only You know if I’ll ever get there,

But I promise to follow till my days of old.

As I travel this journey of uncertainty

I pray that you will reveal,

Your plans, Your will, Your path for me,

And that ultimately, Your peace will I feel.

I know the answer may not be what I desire,

It may be “Go here,” “Wait till Later,” or simply “No.”

But Lord, wherever You lead I will follow,

Wherever You guide I will go.

-          Kacey 

Personal Ad for my Faith...

One of the most challenging things I have had to do lately was to put my Faith in one small statement. I think it is difficult to sum up 21 years of faith in a few sentences... but it challenged me in a good way.  I had to do this for an application ... but it applies to so much more in life. It's kind of like a personal ad for your faith, how do you explain you Faith to a total stranger in 200 words or less. Well, here goes nothin'...

STATEMENT OF FAITH


I believe in the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit – the Holy Trinity.


I believe that God provides us with His salvation not through our works, but through His grace, and that salvation is not something we are given freely, but must ask for.


I believe that as one of His children, God loves me, cares for me, and provides my needs. Not simply for my own good, but so that I can share His love for me and the blessings he provides with others.


I believe God calls us as Christians to serve others, for His namesake.


I believe that God directs my paths, and it is my desire to always be in His will. I do not believe in coincidence, I believe in an all powerful and all mighty God who is the Creator of all things.


I believe, and am extremely thankful, that God is with me through the valleys of life, for to appreciate the Mountaintops, we must endure the Valleys.

Love y'all,
Kacey So my challenge to you - come up with your own statement of faith. Put your faith down in 200 words or less. See what your most important truths are by what you choose... it's telling, it's encouraging, it's a good way to educate yourself on your own faith and how to more simply share it with others.

A conversation between me and God...

I had an interesting conversation with myself in the car today... well, I guess it was really between me and God, since as usual He was kicking me in the face with a lesson. Here's my recap of the conversation (with the random thoughts being those from God)... 

Me: I'm frustrated because I feel like God is closing so many doors and never opening any. Why lay something on my heart and not allow any of the opportunities I seek to work out, or not provide any others for me to pursue? I said I would go anywhere and do anything... I just want to be in His Will... but He keeps closing doors. I had a desire to go home because I feel like that is where He is leading me, but that is waning because of the lack of opportunity. I am unsatisfied in my current situation, so how long do I wait for Him to open a door before I just try to make a change even if it is not in a place I feel led to go. 

God: (lots of silence here....)

Me: I am kind of tired of being tested. I have been unsettled for over a year. I just want a change... something different to do everyday... new things to see... new people to know... why can't that change happen when I pray and try so fervently to listen for His Will... why has the last year seemed like a constant trial and error of seeking opportunities and having doors slammed. 

God: How do you know you have learned the lesson, without a test?

Me: Well then why all the lessons... can't life just be simple and I just be happy. 

God: But Kacey, you asked for them... 

(flashback to Daddy's death...when I asked God not to let the pain and loss be a waste, to when I asked Him to teach me lessons from the experience and make me wise like my daddy.)

Me: Oh, yeah...

So what do I do... Lord, what do I do??? I am unsettled, somedays I am unhappy... I want to be settled, and I want to be happy. I want Your Will, but just as with gaining wisdom... you can't absorb His will... you have to learn it. You have to learn and experience things to become wise, you have to learn and experience Him to know His Will. (I am literally clarifying this to myself as I type this...) I cannot give up on the desires and calling He has revealed to me: working with  college students and moving back home. I cannot give up on that no matter how far apart my want and His Will may drift. My logical mind sometimes has difficulty differentiating the two... when doors may open in one place and close in another... my heart is pulled back and forth and the unsettling feelings shuffle back in. 


My desire is your Will Lord. Please just show me. Please let the opportunities come. Please let me be vulnerable to hear You speak to me... even if it isn't what I want to hear. Please give me peace no matter the outcome and please help me to understand. This is my prayer tonight Lord... open a door... that opportunity will be your Will... for nothing happens without Your 
consent. 

{You will keep in perfect peace 

   those whose minds are steadfast, 

   because they trust in you.}

Isaiah 26:3

Love You, 

Kacey