Unfortunately, that prayer, that plea... was for my daddy's life.
I can walk thru the motions of that day vividly, like a nightmare I will just never forget... One of those most vivid moments was right before I left the house to go to the hospital, I gripped a doorframe in our house and verbally and loudly pleaded with God that when I came home it would not be without an earthly father... But sometimes, The Lord says "No."
Over the past 5 years, and y'all... It's so hard I believe it's been 5 years since I've seen his face, held his hand, or heard his voice, I have heard The Lord say "no," or "not yet" in answer to several prayers... But never has one hurt as bad as the answer I received on the morning of June 20, 2009. I prayer none will ever hurt as bad again.
The thing is though, I realize and wholeheartedly believe that if I could ask my daddy if he would come back to earth and live these last 5 years with us, he would not hesitate and answer with an emphatic "no!". The reason for that is clear, and anyone who knew Danny Cole knows it... My daddy loved The Lord more than he loved me or my brother, more than he loved my mom. More than he loved anything or anyone on this earth. I don't believe he would give up Heaven for anything.
... And that my friends, is what made him the best daddy, best husband, best son, best friend, best worker anyone could imagine or ask for.
So The Lord said "no" that day, and my daddy would too... So I had/have to learn from that. I had to learn to to live life without the person I loved most in the world, without my sounding board, without the person who gave me the wisest advice and frankly my best friend. I've learned to depend on myself more, to value my relationships more... I have remembered random pieces of advice he told me once and applied them to life. I've learned that "to be a success at life, you have to be a success at living," which to me means that despite cards that may be dealt you, you enjoy life, treat people well, always be kind, and love The Lord.
If you have never read any of my blog before and you have some time, I invite you to go back to the first posts I ever wrote, because I created this blog as an outlet for the emotions and thoughts I experienced after daddy died. In this blog are the lessons I've learned in this valley of life that I have passed, which was an answer to another prayer from June 20, 2009. That afternoon I shut myself in my room and cried, slept, and cried some more. I asked God to not waste the heartbreak. I prayed that He would teach me through the sorrow so that I would at the very least learn from the experience... And I am so thankful he answered "yes" to that question... Because without Him these last 5 years would have been very very dark. I can only imagine how much worse it would hurt without the hope I have received thru Jesus Christ.
So to all who may be reading I advise you this... Do not always expect for The Lord to say "yes"... Though you can not in any way prepare for the "no" answers in life, if you have faith in The Lord and trust in his guidance then I hope that you will eventually learn from them like I have and continue to do... Because without the lessons learned, the "no" just causes a world of hurt with no positive effects.
If anything, my daddy was a positive influence on the people in his life, he made sure people felt as if he listened to them, (though he talked quite a lot too!) and always had a good time in the process. I hope that I can always follow that example and continue to learn from the "no" responses I may receive.... Because there is a lesson in every one of them, you may just have to dig deep to find it.