Lately I've been very uninspired... and how incredibly dramatic does that sound?!! I think I've just gotten myself into a stagnant place... and that's not a comfortable place to be. I think too much... I analyze too much. And when I analyze too much I think too much... see my confused pattern. I'v been reading Chambers' My utmost for His highest and there is much talk of His Will and my calling... so I'm trying to take the hint and reflect on those things. I've made these lists, of things I love to do, things I feel called to do, and things I'm good at... and I'm reflecting on those to try and recognize what I am supposed to do when I grow up (a little late, aren't I?). Sometimes when I get to that point where I've been thinking too much. I pick up a brush, I pick a color and I begin to paint. Usually I don't know what the plan for the painting (much like life...)... but I proceed with painting.
Art is therapuetic for me. I enjoy painting... and often I just do it for myself but recently I've been toying with the idea of selling painting to help make some extra money for a mission trip and other things. I was staring at a canvas the other night... and really began to think of the beuty in the paint. You see, I don't like the paint to be crisp and clean, lines unmarred and straight. I think it's beautiful when the colors mix and bleed and run... when they come together to create something I didn't intend... it's a beautiful thing. One the pallate where I put the paint, it ends up being layer over layer throughtout time... and I love the way the paint looks, in it's rubbery texture, when the colors mix, but are still representative of their original hue. I think that pallate represents community... and can represent the individual. Everyone brings their own color to a community... and eventually you mix together to become one, but you are still an individual... but the beauty of the mixture would be less without you... the depth and diversity not as strong, you... the individual are important and you have your place in your community, whatever that community may be.
I also like that painting is completely personal. They may not be the most beautiful things in the world... but when I give someone a painting or when I make something for someone... I'm showing them what's in my head... and yeah generally it includes bright happy colors... but it will represent me as long as someone knows that I painted it, and that makes an impact on me.
So there are a few life lessons from paint. I'm going to go back to working on that canvas now. :)