the Bull Riding bond...

I had a lot of bonds with my daddy... but i think the most unique was probably our love of watching bull riding. It all started during the summers I was home during college. There was one tv in the house, and if daddy was home, we watched what he watched... and he watched bull riding. I guess I started watching between freshmen and sophomore year, because I can remember watching it in my room in the residence hall... Daddy would call me after a good ride, and I would call him to talk about the event when it was over... on weekends when we were both home, we would watch together and usually keep mom up from yelling at the TV while it was on (we liked to enthusiastically cheer the riders on... well, I still do.).


Last Spring (2009), PBR came to Birmingham and Daddy actually took 2 days off work so that he could come to town and we could go together. We had a really good time until his boss called him to go to work on the 2nd day and he had to leave early. We actually got to be apart of the audience that we saw on TV every week... and that's a memory I will never forget. I'll never forget watching daddy as he had a conversation with his favorite rider, Mike Lee (who won the 2004 World Finals Event and Championship). He never told me what they talked about... but I'm sure he shared his mind with Mike... and I know daddy enjoyed the conversation too.

After Daddy died... watching PBR (pbrnow.com if you want to learn more) is just not the same. It reminds me of him so much... and the unique interest in a sport we both loved to watch. I didn't share that interest with anyone but him, and to this day I always want to talk to him about it after I watch an event. Luckily, mom has started watching more often... we texted back and forth about it tonight, and we may take a mini vacay to Vegas next year to go to the Finals (though Daddy probably wouldn't be a huge fan of that)... I really appreciate that mom has somewhat taken up an interest in PBR so that I do have someone to share it with...

This is Mike Lee from the NOLA event in April '10

Guillerme Marchi at BHam event in March '10 (mine and Daddy's first time to watch PBR live)

Obviously bull riding was not the only bond Daddy and I shared... I don't think I could list them all. Today is one of those days that I think about him a lot, and the weirdness that he is not present in my life anymore. It's been 17 months since he died... but sometimes I still have to think about it, about that horrible day to remember that he isn't here on earth with me any more. Today I was thinking of this as I was driving around town. In a way I think I feel guilty for how little I mourned my grandparent's death in relation to his. Yes, I miss seeing them... but I don't ache for them like I do daddy. I don't weep for their loss like I do his... and I don't know that that will ever stop. I truly don't. I believe that there will always be times (and they are getting fewer and farther between) when I just cry... for no particular reason other than something reminds me of him.

I try to imagine what life is like for them in Heaven. John 14:2 the bible says:

{In My Father's house are many mansions , if it were not so, I would have told you.}

I wonder if each dwelling place is unique to it's resident. But at the same time... if all we do in Heaven is Praise and Glorify God... do we have a need for a unique residence. If we do... are we in areas with our loved ones? Does Pawpaw have his lawnmower? I feel like Heaven is a subject I should study more... what is the reality of our eternal dwelling place?

As I looked up the above verse... I had to laugh at the John 14:1. It's one of those moments where God hits you in the head with a reminder that He is here, right beside me as I cry about missing daddy, and type it out for whoever may be reading it.

{Let not your heard be troubled;

you believe in God, believe also in Me.}

John 14:1

Love Y'all, Kacey