It just occured to me... that I don't remember the last thing Daddy said to me.
I have no clue what it was...
The last time I can remember him even knowing I was with him was the night before he died. Aunt Lanell and Uncle Lloyd were in his room as they were going to move him to ICU and as soon as he heard me walk in the room he perked up...which is when I didn't take advantage of the moment and tell him I loved him... because I had no clue it would be the last time he I would touch him or talk to him that he was responsive. That is my biggest regret...
Tomorrow is going to be 11 months since Daddy died... It's so hard for me to believe some days that he has been gone so long... somedays I still can't believe he is even gone. Other days I think about how much I know he is enjoying heaven with the Lord and I need to stop being so dang selfish wishing that he was here. I look at his picture every day and think of his smell, the feel of his skin, and the sound of his voice. Thank God I can still hear his voice when I want to on my iPod. The more I think about it, I'm really dreading Father's day weekend... because I know it is going to be really really hard. I know throughout it all though, that the Lord will continue to comfort me... because He always has, so why stop now. So for anyone needing comfort... here are some verses that may encourage you:
"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Psalm 119:50
"Shout for joy, O heavens; rejoice, O earth; burst into song, O mountains! For the LORD comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones." Isaiah 49:13
"As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you..." Isaiah 66:13
"Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow." Jeremiah 31:13
"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Matthew 5:4
I know Daddy and I had conversations between this remarks from an email and his death, but this was an attachment he sent on his second to last email... he didn't write it, but according to the email liked to refer to it:
“Between You and God”
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfishness, Be kind anyway.
If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone may destroy overnight. Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough. Give the world the best
You have anyway.
You see, in the end, it’s between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway.
He also wrote the following in his last email: "Please continue to pray for me and this procedure being administered. That sounds selfish to me, so I'll say it this way. Remember to pray for those in need of which I am just one." No matter what was going on with him... he always remembered others. I need to dwell on that as well... no matter how much I may hurt missing him... someone else somewhere hurts more and I need to pray for them and their struggles as well.
While he was in the hospital, Daddy always signed his emails "Love Y'all..." So I guess those were his last words to all of us.