My drive to work...

Every day on my way to work I pass by a cemetery. It's a large cemetery with many headstones and some shade trees. In fact my grandparents and other family members are buried in that cemetery. Often times, sadly, I see a  tent and most times when I see it I say quick prayer for the families and friends of the one who has passed away, knowing that it's a very sad day for all those people. Today however was a different day... As I saw the green tent and thought to say a quick prayer I noticed that there were only two people under the tent and I noticed that the casket very small, the size of a baby. I began weeping as I drove into my workplace and tried to stop the tears as I parked my car... all the while pleading with the Lord to just provide whatever the parents needed. I was appalled there were only two people there, but then I don't know their circumstances... and it just reminds me that I can't always judge a situation by what you see.  I don't know them,  i don't know their situation, but I know they need prayer. So I ask you that if you are reading this to pray for the family. Once again, I don't know who they are, I don't their names and I don't know they're circumstances, but I know today was a very bad day. I know they need comfort and I know they need peace that none of us can provide, that no friends or family of theirs can... but only the peace and comfort  the Lord can. So please be in prayer for that little family who buried their child today and hug yours tighter. Be thankful for who's around you and just know that somewhere in Hattiesburg there is a family who need a lot of prayers. 

Love y'all, 

Kacey 

A lesson from a stressful week...

Y'all... it's been a heck of a week.

Generally speaking, I feel like stress is a state of mind. That any time one feels stressed they can find things to bring that stress level down or decimate it to oblivion. This week however, this week I have felt stressed, and the attitude adjustment I gave myself just made it worse.

Stress led to a bad mood. Being in a bad mood annoyed my generally optimistic self. Essentially, I have been getting on my own nerves. I've been performing the duties of two jobs at work, have been avoiding unpacking boxes, doing some volunteer work, and have a few other items on my mind as well. I had a plan to spend a relaxing evening outdoors and enjoy this pretty weather, and then that relaxing evening turned in to disaster (no need to air my hot mess). Let's just say... it's been one of those weeks you want to just come home and bury your head under a pillow. Oh, and eat lots of ice cream.

I sat down tonight to read some Hebrews. A few weeks ago I started teaching 1st graders on Wednesday nights (I know right - what was I thinking!! Thankfully it has been fun and I'm not as bad of a teacher as I thought I would be!), and we are studying the book of Hebrews. I began reading back over chapter 4 which we studied last week and had to re read a few verses that my mind told me to focus on.

¹¹ Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest, lest anyone fall according to the same example of disobedience. ¹² For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. ¹³ And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are naked and open to the eyes of Him to whom we must give account.
¹⁴ Seeing then that we have a great High Priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. ¹⁵ For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. ¹⁶ Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

Kacey's Translation: PUT UP OR SHUT UP! Don't get mad about the stupid stuff!!  And if you aren't going to pray about it, stop complaining about it!

These last few days I have complained a lot... I've prayed, but I've complained more. And though the Lord knows what is in my mind and on my heart... hearing my complaints is not the same as hearing my prayers.I verbally admitted to the Lord that I was ashamed of some of the thoughts and intents He discerned. I had to ask for forgiveness for several things that I had said or thought... mostly just to myself. The only people in the world who knew about it wereme and God... but I had to talk about that with Him.

I also generally have the perspective that stress is a waste of time, that compared to most people, I have nothing to stress about. One of my general philosophies in life that that if I can't change it or fix it, why worry about it. Worry/Stress are negative uses of energy. A waste of time. They are not productive nor positive. Therefore - this week, when this stress hit me like a MAC truck running a red light, I had to admit it - admit that I had fallen victim to something I often openly scoff at.. I sat down and I laid that worry at the Throne of Grace. I got tired of taking deep breaths and giant exhales, and instead am hoping for a slower heart rate and less wandering mind. I realized that something I consider so trivial had overwhelmed me... and I was not helping anyone by keeping it to myself.

Isn't it amazing that we have a God who has "been there/done that." A God who knows what we are going thru and desires to give mercy to those who ask for it. I sit in awe of that. I exhale at that thought.

Now - I go to sleep with that thought... with those prayers.

Love Y'all,
Kacey

A burden on my heart... your Eternal Home.

I woke up about 1:15 this morning with a rapidly beating burdened heart. I awoke from a dream about Jesus' return and I woke up praying. 

You see, in the dream I grabbed my mama's hand and said, "let's go see daddy..." And while that is an excitement that I do have about Eternity (seeing my earthly father), the reason my heart is pounding is because of my concern for friends, neighbors, etc. who don't know my Heavenly Father. My prayer as I awoke was for those people... For our world. Because y'all- He's coming back, and based on the condition of this world, I believe it's soon. When I opened my Bible tonight, Mark 13 was where I landed... and I don't believe in coincidence.

(I have to be honest y'all, My thoughts are so jumbled, but I'm trying to lay them out as The Lord as laid them on my heart.)

I prayed that Jesus would show me the people who don't know Him so I can tell them... Which though I'm a fairly extroverted and talkative person, has not been a strong point in my life. I've always gone by the "walk the walk" more than the "talk the talk" philosophy... Which is sad. How many opportunities to share the Gospel have come my way and I've ignored it?? That thought scares and ashames me really...

I realize that I've always taken the "walk the walk" approach because it's passive, and I'm a non confrontational kind of person. But it's time I start asking myself what's important- my comfort or your Eternity... and that answer is easy- your Eternity. 

I know that a lot of people in the world are turned off by Christians... And I'm sorry for that, I truly am. I once heard (at the beginning of a Christian song no less) that the number 1 cause for atheism in the world is Christians ... And sadly that is probably true. If I've ever done anything to turn you away from God I ask you to give me another chance and read on, and for God's forgiveness... 

I'm no preacher and I'm no theologian, but I know this: God is real... and He is coming again. Heaven and Hell are also real... And they last for an Eternity. If you are reading this, whether I personally know you or not, I don't want you to experience the latter, and I implore you to continue reading. 

I told you what I know- so here's what I want you to know: 

GOD LOVES YOU- and that's all that really matters!! 

He created you. How can He not love His own creation?! Despite what the folks at Westboro say, God doesn't Hate... God is love. 

^"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8

 Before Jesus died He prayed for us (John 17:20-26)... for those who believe in Him, and those who would come to believe in Him "through their message" (that would be YOU whoever is reading this if you are not a Christian)! God doesn't care what you have done in your life... Because He can forgive and forget (unlike most humans). All you have to do is ask Him (that would be the step of Repentance, please read on for more info) and have faith, and it will be done. 

²⁰ “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, ²¹ that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. ²² I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one— ²³ I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.
²⁴ “Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world.
²⁵ “Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. ²⁶ I have made you^[a] known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them.”(John 17:20-26)

I understand that for some people who read this, it may seem unrealistic, may seem crazy... May seem like something you don't need to worry yourself with... But I ask you to consider the alternative. If I'm wrong, none of this will affect us and we will continue to live on this Earth with the craziness of wars and politics and selfishness and pride. But if I'm right.... If The Lord does return and only those who have accepted Him as their Lord and Savior will spend Eternity in Heaven, where there is no grief (John 16:22) and only joy, then if you say no to this opportunity, you spend an eternity in Hell. And y'all... Hell is... I don't even want to imagine what it is like. The Bible states that it is a "lake of burning sulfur"...  that will burn day and night for ever and ever." (Revelation 20:10) ... I shudder at the thought of it really.... But that's the alternative if The Lord returns and you have not accepted Salvation. 

So - this begs the question: if God loves you, then why would He send you to Hell? Well- truth is, you send yourself to Hell by not following Him. God gives everyone the option of Heaven, but if you don't choose it, if you don't choose Him- Hell will be your Eternity. It's as simple as that. 

Back to the good part, the positive part... How do you get to spend Eternity in Heaven rather than Hell? I'm happy to report that there is nothing you have to do, but ask and believe. Simple as that... There are no works, no donations, no sacrifices, because the sacrifice has already been made for you and me, and that sacrifice is Jesus Christ. 

You see, Jesus is God's son, born of a virgin (one of the many miracles of the bible), who lived and died in this Earth. When he was in his thirties, God asked him to be a sacrifice for us (Mark 14:32-36), and He said yes. He said yes to death on a cross... For me. For you. 

Jesus said Yes for us, so we should say Yes to Him! 

1. Recognize that you have sinned... We all have, we all do. But thru faith we are forgiven of those sins. (Romans 3:22-26)

²² This righteousness is given through faith in^[a] Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, ²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, ²⁴ and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. ²⁵ God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement,^[b] through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— ²⁶ he did it to demonstrate his righteousness at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.

2. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you! He provided the option for Eternity in Heaven when he died on the cross and then rose to live again! (Romans 5:8-11)

⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
⁹ Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! ¹⁰ For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹ Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

3. Confess and ask God for forgiveness of those wrongdoings, wrong attitudes, those sins we commit by not loving our neighbors and not following His commandments. (Romans 10:9-10)

⁹ That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.
¹⁰ For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.

 4. Ask The Lord to lead you throughout the rest of your life on earth thru His Spirit. To guide your choices, change your perspective, and to help you keep His commandments. Maintain your relationship with God as you do your friends. Talk to Him, trust Him, take His advice (read His Word - the Bible)... (Romans 10:13)

¹³ For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

If you choose to accept Him as your Savior (He saves you from Hell), your life may not become sunshine and roses immediately, that's not guaranteed nor likely... But your Eternity will be WITH Him in Heaven (streets of gold/no tears), rather than away from Him in Hell (constant burning lake of fire). 

I pray for whoever is reading this... All these words and scriptures above were laid on my heart by God to share with you... So urgently that I'm typing this on my phone at 3:18am. 

If you have read this far then I ask you this:

• if you are a Christian, share this... God laid his on my heart for a reason... someone somewhere needs to read it. Please share it in faith and prayer that they will.
• if you are not a Christian, consider what I have written, more so what He has written in the Bible! I understand that you may be skeptical, that faith may have never played a part in your life and so you wonder why it should start now... But I ask- Why not? Once again, please consider the alternative.
• if what you have read has led you to talk to God... To pursue Him and an Eternity in Heaven, I praise Him for that decision. Please let me know how I can pray for you and/or help you connect with local Christians to support you. 

To anyone reading this - if you don't have a Bible and want one to read the Word of God, comment below with your email address and I'll contact you and send one your way. 

I pray for whoever is reading this... for whoever needs to read this. I also pray that God will use me to be more of a Talker than just a Walker. It seems more and more that Revelation is coming quicker... and with the release of the new Left Behind moving coming out next month, I believe more people will begin to read and pursue Scripture on the end of times, and maybe a movie like this is the Lord's way of getting the message out to more people... that He is coming back, and He is coming soon.  

Love y'all, 

Kacey

Good acoustics, wood walls, and missing Daddy

The house is near completion y'all... They installed the toilet and faucets today so if there was a bed, I could legitimately live there. Which is odd... Because I'm about to be the 4th generation of my family to live in this house. Pap and Mamaw Ruth, Mom and Daddy, Mawmaw and Pawpaw Cole, and me. It's such a blessing to be in this position, and it isn't one I take lightly, but there is an unexplainable and overwhelming desire I feel for some reason. Desire to make those that have lived there proud... Desire to maintain the esteem and care of the Robertson and Cole family of this land... I want them to like and approve of what I'm doing, and thankfully I have my mama to tell me thy she does.... But I truly ache in my desire to have my daddy by my side in this. There are so many times throughout this process I have needed his opinion, his wisdom, his practicality. I want to know what he thinks about the paint color, the floors, the tile... Because it was his home too. Because frankly if it wasn't for my relationship with my daddy and how much I miss him, I probably wouldn't have taken on this project. 

Tonight I took Rhett down to the house because I want him to start getting used to our new home. As we walked around the house I started singing... And I don't know about y'all, but when I'm in a house by myself I sing loud! As I marveled at the excellent acoustics and laughed at wondering what they (grandparents and great grandparents) would thinking of my using their house as my own karaoke bar, I sat and looked at the progress, the changes that have been made that I adore (the wood walls are my favorite), and I began singing the song daddy wrote called "When Time is No More..."

" ... When time is no more, in Heaven we'll be. We'll sing and rejoice, at our Savior's feet. I'll never be late or worried again, when time is no more in a land, in a land without sin." 

As I think of that now, hours later, maybe that was daddy telling me not to worry about it... They are focused in praising and rejoicing at the Savior's feet, not whether or not they like my choice of pinwheel tile in the bathroom. 

I guess that was his message to me - not to worry about their approval and make it my own (I love when realizations come as I write a blog)... Doesn't make me miss him and those opinions any less, but I'll take it. 

My wooden walls I love... 

Rhett taking a break from sniffing out our new house. 

Lesson learned daddy/Daddy. Thanks. 

Love y'all, 

Kacey 

Renovation Realizations...

A few things I have realized during this Renovation process...


1. I love to paint… but today I learned that love for painting is limited to painting with brushes. Otherwise known as… paint rollers are not my friend. I hate them… they hate me. Generally, painting is a stress reliever, but painting a wall with a roller… just stresses me out! Maybe it’s a control issue, I think that I have more control with a brush than a roller. Lesson learned, I’m a control freak with paint.    

Painting with a brush... I like. A wall - not so much!

2. I’m ADD when it comes to projects. I started several today and didn’t finish any… made progress on painting the walls in the side porch/mudroom and cleaning the fireplaces, but the mudroom needs another coat of paint and I haven’t started painting the bricks on the fireplace. 

3. In general I have a real peace about Daddy’s death… I miss him, as I have written about many times, but when I’m trying to find something in his shop, can’t get something to work, or just don’t know how to do something that I know I could have asked/called him about – I get mad that he isn’t here. I often times talk to him out loud… so don’t judge me too much if you hear that sometimes… 
      
4. My generation is weak about a lot of things… but as I worked on the house today while the power was shut off and sweated so much that I looked like I was a participant in the Facebook Cold Water Challenge… I realized that I am most weak about Air Conditioning. Mawmaw and Pawpaw Cole at least had window units and ceiling fans… but I just don’t know how anyone survived pre air conditioning in Mississippi summers. Those summer storms only help a little bit…  and I still sweated buckets after the ones today.

5. Why does anyone, ANYONE use contact paper?? I removed some from the cabinet shelving today and the only positive things I can say about it is that it protected the wood very well!

Why would you cover this wood with flowered contact paper??? 

It's still a work in progress... they have been working on electrical and sheetrock this last week and I am doing some little projects (though I now know interior paint will NOT be a project I complete). Mom and I had to meet with the Power company this week because we have to cut some trees down to install a transformer, and I'm having the hardest time deciding ease over finances in regard to the flooring I choose... I honestly doubt I'll get moved in until the end of August or September (due to work schedule)... but slow and steady wins the race, right??? .....RIGHT??

I sure hope so!

Love y'all,
Kacey

Sometimes, The Lord says "No!"

Five years ago today... God answered a prayer, a plea of mine with a resounding, heartbreaking, and earth shattering "NO."

Unfortunately, that prayer, that plea... was for my daddy's life. 

I can walk thru the motions of that day vividly, like a nightmare I will just never forget... One of those most vivid moments was right before I left the house to go to the hospital, I gripped a doorframe in our house and verbally and loudly pleaded with God that when I came home it would not be without an earthly father... But sometimes, The Lord says "No."

Over the past 5 years, and y'all... It's so hard I believe it's been 5 years since I've seen his face, held his hand, or heard his voice, I have heard The Lord say "no," or "not yet" in answer to several prayers... But never has one hurt as bad as the answer I received on the morning of June 20, 2009. I prayer none will ever hurt as bad again. 

The thing is though, I realize and wholeheartedly believe that if I could ask my daddy if he would come back to earth and live these last 5 years with us, he would not hesitate and answer with an emphatic "no!". The reason for that is clear, and anyone who knew Danny Cole knows it... My daddy loved The Lord more than he loved me or my brother, more than he loved my mom. More than he loved anything or anyone on this earth. I don't believe he would give up Heaven for anything. 

... And that my friends, is what made him the best daddy, best husband, best son, best friend, best worker anyone could imagine or ask for. 

So The Lord said "no" that day, and my daddy would too... So I had/have to learn from that. I had to learn to to live life without the person I loved most in the world, without my sounding board, without the person who gave me the wisest advice and frankly my best friend. I've learned to depend on myself more, to value my relationships more... I have remembered random pieces of advice he told me once and applied them to life. I've learned that "to be a success at life, you have to be a success at living," which to me means that despite cards that may be dealt you, you enjoy life, treat people well, always be kind, and love The Lord. 

If you have never read any of my blog before and you have some time, I invite you to go back to the first posts I ever wrote, because I created this blog as an outlet for the emotions and thoughts I experienced after daddy died. In this blog are the lessons I've learned in this valley of life that I have passed, which was an answer to another prayer from June 20, 2009. That afternoon I shut myself in my room and cried, slept, and cried some more. I asked God to not waste the heartbreak. I prayed that He would teach me through the sorrow so that I would at the very least learn from the experience... And I am so thankful he answered "yes" to that question... Because without Him these last 5 years would have been very very dark. I can only imagine how much worse it would hurt without the hope I have received thru Jesus Christ. 

So to all who may be reading I advise you this... Do not always expect for The Lord to say "yes"... Though you can not in any way prepare for the "no" answers in life, if you have faith in The Lord and trust in his guidance then I hope that you will eventually learn from them like I have and continue to do... Because without the lessons learned, the "no" just causes a world of hurt with no positive effects. 

If anything, my daddy was a positive influence on the people in his life, he made sure people felt as if he listened to them, (though he talked quite a lot too!) and always had a good time in the process. I hope that I can always follow that example and continue to learn from the "no" responses I may receive.... Because there is a lesson in every one of them, you may just have to dig deep to find it. 

Love y'all, 

Kacey 

Progress Report

Today is Pawpaw Cole's birthday. If I do my math right he would have turned 93 today, and oh how I wish he was still here to celebrate with... if you didn't get the chance to ever meet him, you missed out. Shane, my cousins Heather and Vanessa, and I were so lucky he was our grandfather. He retired a few a few months after I was born (if I remember correctly), so we spent a lot of time together when I was litttle. Most of my fond memories from childhood involve Pawpaw in someway or another. He may not have claimed to have many friends, but he was a man that was loved by many and loved them all right back. Pawpaw was never one to communicate his love verbally, in fact, I don't know that I remember him ever saying, "I love you." Anyone that knew him would tell you that he showed his love through acts of service, and he served many.

I think Pawpaw would be proud of what I am doing in his house. He might yell at me about the amount of money I'm borrowing and spending (I have been doing that to myself enough), but I'm pretty sure that as long as there was a bed to nap in, coffee cup to drink out of, and some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream in the freezer, he would make himself at home.

So here is the progress report... Demo is pretty much done. Panelling has come down and has revealed some very pink wallpaper...

When the panelling was removed, the living room and dining room was COVERED in this pink and gray wallpaper. Evidently Aunt Ivloy and Mamaw Robertson put it up for Aunt Ivloy and Uncle Dexter's wedding. (I saved some to frame!)

and some BEAUTIFUL wooden walls...

After the wall paper was removed, this beautiful wood was revealed!!

ARE YOU KEEPING THE WOOD WALLS???

... is the question that everyone has asked after seeing the picture above, which is of the living room and dining room. The answer is ... Partially. Unfortunately, there is no insulation in the house, and therefore (after much debate/discussion with my mother) I will be covering at lease some of them with sheetrock so that I won't go completely broke every month when the power bill arrives. One exciting thing I learned from Uncle Bo is that all of the wood in the house was sourced from the property, which makes it even more special. I'm choosing practicality over pretty here... and while it may hurt my heart a bit, it will help my wallet.

We ARE going to be able to save the original floors in the 3 bedrooms... but the living/dining room, kitchen, hallway, bathroom, and laundry room are going to have to be replaced. Due to the unlevelness (is that a word??) of the house I can't put hardwood in, so I am looking at some laminate and vinyl options right now... will hopefully have a decision/update soon.

More Wood revealed under carpet and panelling.

The bathroom is a work in progess also. I picked a bathtub (soaker tub), but that is about it so far. I have decided that I want to add insulation and put beadboard on the botton half of the walls, and am also looking at flooring options (geometric tile or vinyl) for the bathroom as well.

Bathroom Demo... don't get too attached to the pink tub, it isn't staying!

Before I left to go study abroad in Mexico in January of 2004, Pawpaw advised me to "Remember Who you are, What you are, and Where you're from." Those words still stick with me 10 years later and have been accountability in a lot of ways over the last 10. I am trying to continue and heed those words as I do this work on the house understanding that I'm a Cole, a Christian, and I will always and forever be from Hattiesburg/Oak Grove/Midway.

A picture of the property that I found... not sure when this was taken, but I assume it is quite old since the fields have not been cleared in the photo.

This house holds a rich legacy of good people who impacted their community in a positive way like Pawpaw Cole did, and it is my responsibility to remember those 3 things and keep that legacy going.

Love Y'all,
Kacey