Lessons from an amazing book...

Yesterday I finished reading "Hinds Feet on High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. The book was sent to me by a friend in October of 2010. Now, I pride myself on being a quick reader... I mean I generally read 300+ page books in one sitting, but this one was different. This book was special because I 100% believe that God placed this book in my life, and enticed me to read it only when He thought I was ready to learn. I've written a few other posts about this book before and as I think back to the times I picked up the book I am overwhelmed by God's sovereignty through something I love to do like reading!

I first picked up the book when my friend sent it to me, and I didn't get it. I read the first few pages and felt like I was reading a cartoon (it's a 221 page allegory). But ultimately I know that my heart and my head weren't ready for the impact that book would have on me at that time. I picked it up again on a Saturday in June and only read a few pages, but the following Sunday in church I was impressed to give up a big burden which I wrote about in this post. Little did I know that one of the supporting characters in the book would be named "Sorrow." In September
I wrote this post about learning to wait on God and his timing... I was getting back into an unsettled state and the Lord revealed himself to me through the book once again. I have written in this book more than I ever did a textbook or my own bible even. I just wrote the truth's that occurred to me as I read, I wrote notes to help myself look back and understand, and I wrote comments to show where I was in my Valleys, as Much Afraid traveled through her own. Seriously, here is the evidence...

Any one who has read my blog before knows that the Valley I have traveled through since June of 2009 is learning how to live without my best friend... without my daddy. This entire book is about journey, from a Valley into the High Places (Heaven) to be with the Shepherd (God). There were times when the journey seemed as if it would never end, but then the traveler, named Much Afraid, would come to a place of rest. She literally built altars as she learned different things, and in the end... well... I don't want to ruin the story... but those monuments were used for His glory in a very specific to the character way. At the end of the first chapter I wrote the following notes:
- God plants the seed of salvation - though he may use others to do it.
- God chooses specific people to support and guide us on our journey out of the Valley.
- We have the power to resist temptation and not fall victim to our disfigurements through Christ, but we have to choose to use that power.
- God suffers through our sorrows with us. God is not exempt from being vulnerable to pain as a result of love even though He created both. He feels our sorrows, but He also feels pain when we cause Him to by disobedience... because He loves us so much.

Today I sat down and wrote a few major lessons I have learned from this book. I asked God after Daddy died to teach me through it, to not let me waste the heartache and not learn from it... so I'm going to add these to the list of lessons learned, and therefore answered prayers since his death.

1) Sorrow and Suffering do not have to be your enemies - if you let them, they can be the most comforting friends you can ever know... they can eventually become Joy and Peace. I have learned more about my God, about myself, about my faith with them as my companions than any other time in my life. Joy is easier to obtain than Peace, but I don't believe you can truly have Joy in a situation without Peace.

2) The Valleys in life are for a purpose... even (I believe) one of Daddy's biggest tasks/goals in life was for his children to know and love the Lord - How much satisfaction must he have knowing that my darkest valley in life has brought me closer to God.... I mean I am physically farther away from my earthly father as I can ever be, but closer to my Heavenly Father than I have ever been.

3) I have been challenged to live in the place He puts me (physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually)... to really be there and to learn all I can and serve all I can because I will be there "until he makes me what he has determined I ought to be. (HFonHP, Chapter 13)" He has me here for a reason and I may never understand why, but I will not move on until I have learned what I need to, or served who I need to. I have to come to peace with the unknown factor of my future ... which is always on my heart. For if I am constantly living for the future (thoughts of future jobs, husband, children, etc...) then I can't learn what I need to learn now.

4) If I'm in a valley... learn from it. And as hard as it is, rejoice in the lessons learned there. In fact, lessons learned in the valleys are the hardest to learn, therefore they should be celebrated even more.

5) There will always be unanswered questions... but peace with the unanswered questions is the ultimate goal.

6) Don't be your worst critic like "Much Afraid" (the main character) was. She was not confident in who she was, and members of her own family were sent to highlight all of her insecurities. Those insecurities, much to their dismay were the things that the Shepherd used to turn her into her new self (trying not to give anything away!). We should not be out own worst critic, because Satan already has that job. The more confident we are in the person He has created us to be... the easier we are able to ignore Satan's criticisms that come in all different forms.

There are so many comments that I wrote in the margins of this book that I could share, but after reading back through it... one in particular caught my attention:

The Shepherd laughed too. 'I love doing preposterous things," he replied. "Why, I don't know anything more exhilarating and delightful than turning weakness into strength, and fear into faith, and that which has been marred into perfection. (HFonHP, chapter 9)

My comment from this passage,

{HE is the only one who can do this...} 

When we are in those moments of fear or weakness... maybe both, our faith in the One who created us... the only One who can turn our weaknesses into strength, the only One who can lead us from the Valley to the Mountaintop, the only One who can change Sorrow into Joy... that faith is what guides us on this journey through life. He is willing to do those preposterous things in us if we are open to it... You see I think this concept of choice is both freeing and convicting, because we choose to follow or disobey. We choose to listen or to ignore. We choose to be open to Him or we don't allow Him in. Along the Much Afraid did have doubts, but she followed even when she have peace about it... but eventually that faith to follow led her to a place like none other. It led her to become who He determined she should be... 

If you are in one of those Valleys, and can handle a really long allegory... I definitely suggest this book. But... even if you can't handle it, if you ask Him I am confident that He will use something in your life to teach you the lessons you need to learn... and I'm truly thankful for these He has taught me.

Love y'all, 

Kacey 

Farther Along...

1. I have had the song "Farther Along" in my head literally since I woke up this morning... I've been singing it on and off all day long... though of course I've been singing the same verse over and over and over again... so I decided to look up the song and read the words... because I knew that if God had the song in my head all day, there must have been a reason for it. Read these words... I wrote a few comments in, but just think about them... How often do we ask "Why me?" or "Why not them?"?? I know I have said it a lot in the last few years... but ultimately, it's like I mentioned in my last post about not losing hope... I believe there is a wisdom and maturity in waiting until life is farther along to understand why things happen. Now I'm not saying that I am have that wisdom and maturity, but for me in many situations peace has come with wisdom and understanding... and that helps process pain, confusion, and frustration... read them and see what you think.
2. 
   
3. Farther Along
4. Tempted and tried, we’re oft made to wonder
   Why it should be thus all the day long; {Why am I tempted all the time - it bothers me!}
   While there are others living about us,
   Never molested, though in the wrong. {Why doesn't it bother other people when they do wrong??}
   • Refrain:
     Farther along we’ll know more about it,
     Farther along we’ll understand why;
     Cheer up, my brother, live in the sunshine,
     We’ll understand it all by and by. {When it's time Kacey... you'll understand. In His time.}
5. Sometimes I wonder why I must suffer,
   Go in the rain, the cold, and the snow, {Why me?}
   When there are many living in comfort,
   Giving no heed to all I can do.
6. Tempted and tried, how often we question
   Why we must suffer year after year, {Why ME???}
   Being accused by those of our loved ones,
   E’en though we’ve walked in God’s holy fear. {Why do people think I do wrong when I fear the Lord which is the beginning of all knowledge (prov.1:7)??}
7. Often when death has taken our loved ones,
   Leaving our home so lone and so drear,
   Then do we wonder why others prosper, {WHHHHYY MEEE?? Better yet, why not that person living so wickedly?? ... seeing a trend here??}
   Living so wicked year after year.
8. “Faithful till death,” saith our loving Master;
   Short is our time to labor and wait;
   Then will our toiling seem to be nothing,
   When we shall pass the heavenly gate. {All this Why Me junk ain't gonna matter when you get to Heaven... our time on earth to wait is short, and when we get to Heaven, we will realize that.}
9. Soon we will see our dear, loving Savior,
   Hear the last trumpet sound through the sky;
   Then we will meet those gone on before us,
   Then we shall know and understand why. {Ultimately, we will understand... it may come before Heaven, but you will get the answers to your questions one day, some day...}

It's definitely a "Why Me" song... but I think that is okay. I am in a time of learning right now and to be honest I think we as humans have to go through those "why me" moments in order to understand why He chose you for that task, that hardship, that loss... In some ways, we have to be selfish to become selfless... Now I have no biblical basis to that... but I think it is a realistic point. How can you know what it is to be selfless and give of yourself if you don't know what it is to take... and to only look out for yourself?

No matter where we are in life I think it is important to remember that aspect of growth, because to become the best you, you have to have been the worst you at some point in time. To become rich (in spirit, money, etc...) you have to have been poor. To become humble, you had to be haughty. To understand nice you have to understand mean... and I think this is a vital part of our development as humans and as Christians... you have to understand the importance of where you have been to comprehend the magnitude of where you are. Once again this can cover so many basis, from physical locations to attitude, to education, to relationships... 

{Life is a journey, not a destination.} 

                                                                             Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've always liked this quote... though frankly I didn't realize it was Emerson who said it. But I think it is exceedingly important to give credit to the journey. Because if not for the journey, the destination is not attainable. How do you go on vacation without getting on a plane? How to I get to the grocery without getting in my car? How can I reach the ultimate goal of serving my God and gaining His wisdom, without doing and learning... without developing and growing... They are mutually existent. One cannot be without the other. The entire song is about the journey of life... and the things within life that we don't understand... but as we learn that it is less about Why he chose ME to go through this horribly uncomfortable time and more about Why HE chose me (of all people) to go through experience during which I can learn and grow - that's when the perspective changes. God isn't putting us through these horrible and uncomfortable things as punishment (which in the song sounds like the intention at least in reference to the "wicked" people) but as ways to help us grow, to help us learn to trust Him more, to MAKE us depend on Him more... because ultimately we cannot get to our destination without Him. It simply isn't possible. 

I know that farther along in life I will understand the things I don't today... but I'm so thankful for those things I have learned. The things I have learned to accept and appreciate rather than hide from and push away. I anticipate those future understandings. 

Love Y'all, 

Kacey

p.s. I was belting out the words to a great hymn at church last night when I realized what it was at the chorus, but I sang it. I sang the chorus to "It is Well with My Soul". Not every word came out, but I sang it, I truly sang it, which is kind of a big deal. Read more about the Songs I can't sing... here...