The Road to Peace

You know those times when you feel like you have accomplished something, or made it to the next step... and then you totally digress? Well, I had one of those moments tonight. I looked at a picture of Daddy on facebook that Shane posted and just started weeping. Pure, unadulterated weeping. Sometimes I think I have done so well dealing with his death... and then there are nights like tonight... when I just want to see him, to hear his voice... I am desperate to touch him but I know I can't. If you have never felt this before it's just an indescribable and miserable feeling. I just sat on my couch crying for a minute, and immediately reached out for the thing that I feel brings me closest to Daddy... his Bible.

I started flipping through the pages, sniffing the pages even for some familiar scent of him which is long gone and simply touched the pages that he flipped and turned so many times. Of course, I was inadvertently looking for some kind of message for myself... because in the midst of all that is going on in my life... I desire more change. A change in scenery, a change of attitude, a message from God that He's listening and that He knows my heart (which yes, I know He does... but my earthly mind desires some sort of confirmation). Somewhere stacked in the Old Testament were a stack of papers, scrawled with his half cursive/half print left slanted lettering that caught my eye. I share it here with you (In Print and Photo)... maybe it will give us both something to think about:

Philippians 4: 4-7

- The Road to Peace-

1) Rejoice (in the Lord) relationship (remove guilt), again - REJOICE!!! (important)
------------------------------------------------------------------------
2) Don't worry - (It's an insult to God's watch care)

In everything:

• In Sorrow
• In Success
• In Peace
• In Panic
• In Failure
• In Turmoil

By

Prayer (asking) ----------------------------------- Supplication (petition)

With Thanksgiving

(Thanksgiving = faith in results of Recognition of God's faithfulness)

make your requests

KNOWN TO GOD

The Peace of God (Can't be understood - makes no sense)

Shall

Keep Your hearts (settle your Spirit)

Keep your mind (calm you fears, remove your doubt)

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This is accomplished THROUGH Christ Jesus.

In his bible, beside these verses in Philippians he wrote, "Don't Worry Be Happy!", Also in the note he references the song Tell it to Jesus:

Tell it to Jesus

by: Ed­mund S. Lo­renz, 1876

Are you weary, are you heavy hearted?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

Are you grieving over joys departed?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus,

He is a Friend that’s well known.

You’ve no other such a friend or brother,

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do the tears flow down your cheeks unbidden?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

Have you sins that to men’s eyes are hidden?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Do you fear the gathering clouds of sorrow?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

Are you anxious what shall be tomorrow?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Are you troubled at the thought of dying?

Tell it to Jesus, tell it to Jesus.

For Christ’s coming kingdom are you sighing?

Tell it to Jesus alone.

Sadly, I answered YES to the majority of the questions within this song because to be honest... no matter how hard I try or how much I pray I am anxious over things such as Pawpaw's health, my professional future... I cry unbidden tears and I grieve time lost with family and friends... this song just rings true for how I feel right now. As a Christian, though we have been found by God... I think it's fair to say that some times we feel lost even though we are not. When things aren't going our way (When God says "no") or when life changes because the people in it move or pass away... all of that leaves me feeling, well, a little lost... because I am searching for things that aren't necessary. I look for jobs, I look for stuff that reminds me of Daddy (I took a pic out of his guitar case this weekend), I look to friends for affirmation and comfort...but where should I be looking... to the God of it all... the One who promises that He knew me before I was born, the One who gave His Son for me, the One who says "Hey Kacey... let me know what you need, even though I already know (Philippians 4: 19)... but here's the kicker Kacey, I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED BETTER THAN YOU DO!!"

Well Hello Reality, how are you?

There are so many things to think about, grieve about, and learn about as we travel this Road of Life. We will go places, meet people, and do things we never expected... but God knew about it all along. He equips us for Peace even when we don't know that we need it or don't seek it. But Oh, when you feel it... it's perfect.

I pray that we will all find Peace as we go through the turmoil, success, panic and sorrow of our lives, and that we would Tell Him our troubles so that we get closer and closer to that Peace on a daily basis. It's available to us...but we have to remember our end of the bargain... don't just ask God for things... THANK HIM FOR THE BLESSINGS!

Love Y'all,

KC

An update - Long time coming...

So it has been a long time since I signed on to the blog... frankly it's been a while since I thought about it. But in the last few weeks it's been on my mind a lot. I guess for a while there I just was not getting much inspiration, but after a couple of reminders and words of encouragement from some wonderful people (Aunt Lanell and Russ) I have a variety of things to share... things I've seen happening in my life and others lately... as well as some concerns and prayer requests... so here we go:

Prayers of Thanksgiving:

About two weeks before Thanksgiving Pawpaw Cole was taken to the hospital with some serious stomach trouble... a week before Thanksgiving he had surgery to remove 3 masses which turned out to be colon cancer. In the days before his surgery I had lots of conversations with God... at one point I think I was trying to bargain with Him (though I have learned that bargaining with God is not really a smart thing to do... your fall farther when things don't work quite like you want them to) so that my family would not have to deal with another tragedy this year... but after I thought about what I was asking God, I realized it was the wrong perspective on the situation. Instead of asking God to not allow something bad to happen, I began to ask him to allow something good to happen. Considering the time of year, my prayer became one of hope - that God would give us something tangible to be joyful and thankful about. I'm always thankful for His provisions and His grace... but to have someone I can hold up and on to and rejoice in their recovery with was a pure prayer of my heart, and God answered it with more blessings than I asked for. I asked God to get Pawpaw through his surgery and help him to feel better... (as my family knows) He not only got Pawpaw through surgery, He did it without him having to go to ICU and be on a ventilator longer than normal and with his doctor saying he felt confident he removed all the colon cancer. He did it with Pawpaw coming home less than a week after his surgery and with his attitude being back to normal. If you know my grandfather then there is no doubt in my mind that you have been touched by him... through his generosity, through his encouragement, his service, or maybe even a piece of bubble gum. I know God didn't save Pawpaw Cole for me or my family... He did it for the inspiration that Pawpaw is for others.

Pawpaw has been home for over a week and his progress amazes me. I've figured out you can judge it by how far he walks in a day. His first day home, less than 12 hours after being out of the hospital, Pawpaw decided to go for a walk to the barn (pictured above after a recent snow!) on Thanksgiving morning. He told me when I came to see him that, "someone has moved my barn." His walk evidently was much farther than usual... and his comments made me laugh! However, when I talked to him today he told me that he had walked up to where the old block house used to be and cracked two or three dozen pecans... that's some progress!! God is so good... and I'm thankful He's given us some great joy to round out this year of much sorrow.

Being a Good Neighbor

When I was home for Thanksgiving break, I spent about 75% of it with Pawpaw and Mawmaw Cole at their house. I started writing this observation one night after an encounter with Pawpaw...

So I am spending the night with Mawmaw and Pawpaw, and like clockwork at 11pm Pawpaw woke up to eat a peanut butter sandwhich. I can remember him doing this when I was a kid as well, and it brought back alot of great memories. We sat and talked for a while and he told me some new stories that I have never heard (which is unusual with Pawpaw, he likes to repeat stories) of things he had done for neighbors.

• 
  
  His old neighbor across the street was going to move in a trailer as he was building his house and once Pawpaw helped him mark out the area he was going to put the trailer, the neighbor left and Pawpaw went to get his lawnmower. While the neighbor was gone, Pawpaw mowed the entire area around the markings of the trailer for two reasons. 1) that ___ grass (I forgot the kind of grass he said) could catch fire under the house, and 2) well, it was the neighborly thing to do. The neighbor, of course, was surprised and thankful and told all his friends about his nice new neighbor.


• 
  
  Years later, around the same area... there were some new neighbors who paid a man to cut their grass, and it's a heck of a lot of grass. Pawpaw and Mawmaw were sitting on the porch one day and were watching the "mexican" man cut their grass (I put it in quotes... because to Pawpaw and most other people in my family, anyone who looks hispanic is "mexican."). It was about 100 degrees that day and one of the summer rain showers had started and the man had been mowing for a long time. Pawpaw had to run to the store, so while he was there he picked up a root beer for the man on the lawnmower. By the time he had gotten back home, the rain had stopped but the man was still mowing, soaking wet in the hot sun. Pawpaw walked over to were he was and said hello and asked him how he was... just neighborly chit chat. He had the root beer in his back pocket so the man wouldn't see it. Pawpaw asked him if he was thirsty and if he could get him anything to drink, and of course the man said no. But pawpaw took the root beer out of his back pocket and gave it to the man who drank most of it in one swig... as long as the man worked for the neighbors, he always waved and said hey to "Mr. Cole.

Listening to these stories, that I am sure are a few of many reminded me of what a leader Pawpaw is. I think alot like Daddy (who didn't really think he was a leader of others) Pawpaw is a great servant leader, which in my mind is the most important type of leadership. I think if you asked most anyone in the Midway community who Claude Cole is... they would know, because he is loved and respected by many.

Guatemala

One of the things I love about my job is serving others, college students specifically, who need encouragement and guidance as they learn and grow... if that wasn't true, I wouldn't be writing this blog at 12:31 am in the Cafeteria, where I'll be till 3am so that the students have another place to study. God has given me a great opportunity this year, one that I am excited about because it's going to benefit alot of people. I have mentioned before that I am going to Guatemala in January. I'll be taking a team of 10 students to Huehuetenango Guatemala... we leave ATL on January 5 and return on the 18th. As I was explaining to one of my team members yesterday, I am excited about the renewal that I am praying this trip brings to me and my heart. In a year when my heart has been broken through sorrow... I want it now to be broken with love and compassion and praise and thanksgiving. I have not really talked to my team much about Daddy's death... in fact I think only a handful of them know. This group of students I'll be traveling with... I don't know them all so well... but I love 'em already. They are all different and bring different things to the table... but they want many of the same things out of this trip: adventure, a chance to share and show the love of Christ, new friends, new perspectives, and a chance to make a difference. I am so thankful and excited about this opportunity...I'm doing my best not to stress and accept things as they come. As a team, we've only had 4 meetings... at none of those meetings has every single team member been present. Our first meeting with everyone will be IN Guatemala... but I know God will give us the guidance and discernment that we need in order to perform the tasks He will have us do.

Prayer Requests:

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  the Guatemala mission trip and the team from Samford. Pray for guidance and discernment and compassion for all of us. I wanted to list the names of the team so that you can pray for them individually. Also, we have a group on facebook "Guatemala - Jan Term '10" if you want to follow us. Team members are: Laren Lewis, Lauren Malone, Lauren Sharpe, Rebecca Price, Rachel Newman, Ryann Headley, Mary Baggett, Meredith Toering, Maddie Taylor, Julian Hollan, Jeremy Copeland (representative from Buckner International... the organization we are traveling with), and me.


• 
  
  Pawpaw's continued recovery...


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  recognize the opportunities God gives me for joy


• 
  
  My future... I am still feeling unsettled about where to go and am looking for jobs... please pray for God's guidance in His plan for my future.


• 
  
  For my family, especially my mom... as enter this Christmas season. It's going to be sad and I know it, but please pray that we will receive God's comfort when we need it.

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So I guess this is it for this entry... I've been reading a book lately about the Holy Spirit (Forgotten God by Frances Chan) as well as am starting some weekly devotional material with my Guatemala team. My prayer is that as I study those materials that God will give me things to share with you... whoever it is that may be reading this, and that it may bring some comfort and joy to you as it does to me in writing.

Love and God Bless, KC