Renovation Realizations...

A few things I have realized during this Renovation process...


1. I love to paint… but today I learned that love for painting is limited to painting with brushes. Otherwise known as… paint rollers are not my friend. I hate them… they hate me. Generally, painting is a stress reliever, but painting a wall with a roller… just stresses me out! Maybe it’s a control issue, I think that I have more control with a brush than a roller. Lesson learned, I’m a control freak with paint.    

Painting with a brush... I like. A wall - not so much!

2. I’m ADD when it comes to projects. I started several today and didn’t finish any… made progress on painting the walls in the side porch/mudroom and cleaning the fireplaces, but the mudroom needs another coat of paint and I haven’t started painting the bricks on the fireplace. 

3. In general I have a real peace about Daddy’s death… I miss him, as I have written about many times, but when I’m trying to find something in his shop, can’t get something to work, or just don’t know how to do something that I know I could have asked/called him about – I get mad that he isn’t here. I often times talk to him out loud… so don’t judge me too much if you hear that sometimes… 
      
4. My generation is weak about a lot of things… but as I worked on the house today while the power was shut off and sweated so much that I looked like I was a participant in the Facebook Cold Water Challenge… I realized that I am most weak about Air Conditioning. Mawmaw and Pawpaw Cole at least had window units and ceiling fans… but I just don’t know how anyone survived pre air conditioning in Mississippi summers. Those summer storms only help a little bit…  and I still sweated buckets after the ones today.

5. Why does anyone, ANYONE use contact paper?? I removed some from the cabinet shelving today and the only positive things I can say about it is that it protected the wood very well!

Why would you cover this wood with flowered contact paper??? 

It's still a work in progress... they have been working on electrical and sheetrock this last week and I am doing some little projects (though I now know interior paint will NOT be a project I complete). Mom and I had to meet with the Power company this week because we have to cut some trees down to install a transformer, and I'm having the hardest time deciding ease over finances in regard to the flooring I choose... I honestly doubt I'll get moved in until the end of August or September (due to work schedule)... but slow and steady wins the race, right??? .....RIGHT??

I sure hope so!

Love y'all,
Kacey

Sometimes, The Lord says "No!"

Five years ago today... God answered a prayer, a plea of mine with a resounding, heartbreaking, and earth shattering "NO."

Unfortunately, that prayer, that plea... was for my daddy's life. 

I can walk thru the motions of that day vividly, like a nightmare I will just never forget... One of those most vivid moments was right before I left the house to go to the hospital, I gripped a doorframe in our house and verbally and loudly pleaded with God that when I came home it would not be without an earthly father... But sometimes, The Lord says "No."

Over the past 5 years, and y'all... It's so hard I believe it's been 5 years since I've seen his face, held his hand, or heard his voice, I have heard The Lord say "no," or "not yet" in answer to several prayers... But never has one hurt as bad as the answer I received on the morning of June 20, 2009. I prayer none will ever hurt as bad again. 

The thing is though, I realize and wholeheartedly believe that if I could ask my daddy if he would come back to earth and live these last 5 years with us, he would not hesitate and answer with an emphatic "no!". The reason for that is clear, and anyone who knew Danny Cole knows it... My daddy loved The Lord more than he loved me or my brother, more than he loved my mom. More than he loved anything or anyone on this earth. I don't believe he would give up Heaven for anything. 

... And that my friends, is what made him the best daddy, best husband, best son, best friend, best worker anyone could imagine or ask for. 

So The Lord said "no" that day, and my daddy would too... So I had/have to learn from that. I had to learn to to live life without the person I loved most in the world, without my sounding board, without the person who gave me the wisest advice and frankly my best friend. I've learned to depend on myself more, to value my relationships more... I have remembered random pieces of advice he told me once and applied them to life. I've learned that "to be a success at life, you have to be a success at living," which to me means that despite cards that may be dealt you, you enjoy life, treat people well, always be kind, and love The Lord. 

If you have never read any of my blog before and you have some time, I invite you to go back to the first posts I ever wrote, because I created this blog as an outlet for the emotions and thoughts I experienced after daddy died. In this blog are the lessons I've learned in this valley of life that I have passed, which was an answer to another prayer from June 20, 2009. That afternoon I shut myself in my room and cried, slept, and cried some more. I asked God to not waste the heartbreak. I prayed that He would teach me through the sorrow so that I would at the very least learn from the experience... And I am so thankful he answered "yes" to that question... Because without Him these last 5 years would have been very very dark. I can only imagine how much worse it would hurt without the hope I have received thru Jesus Christ. 

So to all who may be reading I advise you this... Do not always expect for The Lord to say "yes"... Though you can not in any way prepare for the "no" answers in life, if you have faith in The Lord and trust in his guidance then I hope that you will eventually learn from them like I have and continue to do... Because without the lessons learned, the "no" just causes a world of hurt with no positive effects. 

If anything, my daddy was a positive influence on the people in his life, he made sure people felt as if he listened to them, (though he talked quite a lot too!) and always had a good time in the process. I hope that I can always follow that example and continue to learn from the "no" responses I may receive.... Because there is a lesson in every one of them, you may just have to dig deep to find it. 

Love y'all, 

Kacey 

Progress Report

Today is Pawpaw Cole's birthday. If I do my math right he would have turned 93 today, and oh how I wish he was still here to celebrate with... if you didn't get the chance to ever meet him, you missed out. Shane, my cousins Heather and Vanessa, and I were so lucky he was our grandfather. He retired a few a few months after I was born (if I remember correctly), so we spent a lot of time together when I was litttle. Most of my fond memories from childhood involve Pawpaw in someway or another. He may not have claimed to have many friends, but he was a man that was loved by many and loved them all right back. Pawpaw was never one to communicate his love verbally, in fact, I don't know that I remember him ever saying, "I love you." Anyone that knew him would tell you that he showed his love through acts of service, and he served many.

I think Pawpaw would be proud of what I am doing in his house. He might yell at me about the amount of money I'm borrowing and spending (I have been doing that to myself enough), but I'm pretty sure that as long as there was a bed to nap in, coffee cup to drink out of, and some Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream in the freezer, he would make himself at home.

So here is the progress report... Demo is pretty much done. Panelling has come down and has revealed some very pink wallpaper...

When the panelling was removed, the living room and dining room was COVERED in this pink and gray wallpaper. Evidently Aunt Ivloy and Mamaw Robertson put it up for Aunt Ivloy and Uncle Dexter's wedding. (I saved some to frame!)

and some BEAUTIFUL wooden walls...

After the wall paper was removed, this beautiful wood was revealed!!

ARE YOU KEEPING THE WOOD WALLS???

... is the question that everyone has asked after seeing the picture above, which is of the living room and dining room. The answer is ... Partially. Unfortunately, there is no insulation in the house, and therefore (after much debate/discussion with my mother) I will be covering at lease some of them with sheetrock so that I won't go completely broke every month when the power bill arrives. One exciting thing I learned from Uncle Bo is that all of the wood in the house was sourced from the property, which makes it even more special. I'm choosing practicality over pretty here... and while it may hurt my heart a bit, it will help my wallet.

We ARE going to be able to save the original floors in the 3 bedrooms... but the living/dining room, kitchen, hallway, bathroom, and laundry room are going to have to be replaced. Due to the unlevelness (is that a word??) of the house I can't put hardwood in, so I am looking at some laminate and vinyl options right now... will hopefully have a decision/update soon.

More Wood revealed under carpet and panelling.

The bathroom is a work in progess also. I picked a bathtub (soaker tub), but that is about it so far. I have decided that I want to add insulation and put beadboard on the botton half of the walls, and am also looking at flooring options (geometric tile or vinyl) for the bathroom as well.

Bathroom Demo... don't get too attached to the pink tub, it isn't staying!

Before I left to go study abroad in Mexico in January of 2004, Pawpaw advised me to "Remember Who you are, What you are, and Where you're from." Those words still stick with me 10 years later and have been accountability in a lot of ways over the last 10. I am trying to continue and heed those words as I do this work on the house understanding that I'm a Cole, a Christian, and I will always and forever be from Hattiesburg/Oak Grove/Midway.

A picture of the property that I found... not sure when this was taken, but I assume it is quite old since the fields have not been cleared in the photo.

This house holds a rich legacy of good people who impacted their community in a positive way like Pawpaw Cole did, and it is my responsibility to remember those 3 things and keep that legacy going.

Love Y'all,
Kacey

In honor of Memorial Day ... lessons from the Trunk.

I can remember many times as a kid I would sit on the floor of the Pink Room and look through the trunk. I would sit for hours looking at papers and photos encased in what I consider to be our family’s museum. You see, this trunk is no simple trunk. It was my great grandfather “Pap” Robertson’s WW1 trunk.  Inside I found his military record and Army song book published in 1917 and 1918. I found Pawpaw Cole’s tee tiny Navy sailor uniform and Mawmaw Cole’s wedding suit, and I’ve discovered more and more about my great Uncle Cassie Ray Robertson, who was my grandmothers older brother. 

Pap's Military Record from WW1

I mentioned in the first post about the house that there have been many tears shed and sad times at the house, and Uncle Cassie Ray was the source of a lot of those. At the age of 20 while serving in the US Army 168^th Infantry Regiment, 34^th Infantry Division outside of Bologna Italy, my Great Uncle Cassie Ray was caught inside a house that the German’s attacked in November of 1944. It was originally reported to my great grandparents via a Western Union telegram that he was “Missing in Action” After 12 months with no reports that he was captured by the Germans or evidence of life (as one of the letters from the Department of War states), he was then labeled as “Killed in Action.” His remains have never been found, but he is memorialized at the Florence National Cemetery in Florence, Italy.  PFC Cassie Ray Robertson was awarded a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart. 

The Western Union Telegram notifying my great grandparents that Cassie Ray was Missisng In Action.

A letter written to my great grandparents by my Uncle Cassie Ray just days before the place he was in was attacked and destroyed. According to the US Government, his was presumed dead as of November 25, 1944.

I have learned from talking to family members and reading some letters in the trunk that my Mammaw Ruth always held out hope that he was still alive. She corresponded with one of Cassie Ray’s military companions, Everett Gregory, who was one of the last to see him alive for years and years. She continued to write letters years after his presumed death to seek information and updates, but never received anything but bad news. His picture always hung up in the house, and will go back on the wall once the renovations are complete. Like any loving mother, she always held out hope of her son’s return… and as I sit here and my heart hurts for all the sorrow and pain she felt in losing Cassie Ray in 1944, and later her son Clyde in 1953, I am crying yet smiling at the thought of the reunion she had with her boys in 1975 when she entered Glory. All that hope she maintained, and those questions she asked were finally answered when she saw him again. 

This is a letter written to my Mamaw Ruth Robertson in 1949, she was still seeking answers about her son's "death" 5 years later...

Like many families, my family has a rich history of military service, and I am so thankful and proud of those who served our country selflessly. I praise the Lord that all but one of those men came home to their families (even for just a short while in Uncle Clyde’s case) safely. In honor of Memorial Day I wanted to share Cassie Ray’s story… he is one of thousands who have not come home, but more so who have never been found. I am thankful that sitting down once again to look through this trunk has reminded me of how blessed we are to live in a country in which generations before us have fought, bled, and died so that we could enjoy the freedoms that we do. 

Always remember to pray for those who serve, for the families they leave behind, and for their safe return. 

Love Y’all,

Kacey

A little Background and Before pictures...

From the time I decided I wanted to move back home a few years ago, I also decided that I wanted to renovate and live in my Mawmaw and Pawpaw Cole’s house. Like most kids who grew up next door to their grandparents, I spent an obnoxious amount of time at their home instead of my own, and though I have traveled the world, I have never seen a better Sunset view than that from the Gallery (front porch) of their house. 

This house has a lot of history… a lot of tears have been shed but many celebrations have occurred.

My great grandparents on Daddy’s side, Charlie and Ruth Robertson, built the house sometime in the 1940’s… I still haven’t figured out when. Even my Uncle Bo who grew up in and helped build the house can’t remember the exact year. Pap and Mamaw Ruth had 6 kids: Cassie Ray, Walter, Clyde, Verna (my grandmother), Ivloy, and Herman (the aforementioned Uncle Bo). Unfortunately, Uncle Clyde died in a car wreck in his 20’s, and Uncle Cassie Ray is still listed as MIA in Italy in WW2 (he never came home, but I’ve been told that Mamaw Ruth always held hope that he would…) 4 of those 6 children did have kids, grandkids, and great grandkids. I’ve tried to do the math, and think I have remembered everyone… Pap and Mamaw had 6 kids, 10 grandkids, 22 great grandkids, and so far… 21 great great grandkids.

… and I’m the one who got their house???

It’s a blessing… an honor really to take on this project. I'll be the 4th generation of my family to live in this house as mom and dad lived there while they were building their house. It is a home where so many have felt the love of the Robertson family, stopped by to have a cup of coffee with the Cole’s, and now… well, now y’all can come watch that pretty sunset with me and my dog Rhett and have a glass of sweet tea. 

So here you can tour the house via the BEFORE photos. The demo has begun and already we have discovered some very interesting flooring and wallpaper. It is safe to say, especially after viewing the photos of the bathroom, that my great grandmother was a fan of Pink! 

Living Room/Dining Room

Kitchen (... and yes, I'm keeping the knotty pine original cabinets!)

This room is off the living room, I will use it as a Guest Room

I call this one the "Pink" room... though that will change. In the past this room has been used as a bedroom, but I plan to use it as an office/library/craft space

There's that pink toilet and sink in the bathroom... it is a really nice size bathroom and will be getting a total upgrade! Adios pink toilet/tub/sink!!

This is the laundry room, it was used a a bedroom many many many years ago. I plan to use it for laundry and build in some storage.

This is the "Blue Room"... I plan to use it as my bedroom.

So there is the Before... I can't wait to see and show you the After. More to come in that regard...

As for the house itself and the treasures we found inside... those are stories I want to take time and tell. There are also lessons I am learning in all of this. Correlations of things I am seeing and stories Daddy and Pawpaw told me that are fitting together and making more sense than ever... I want to share those with you as well.

After all, I am one of many in a family that this house is "home" to... it will never be just "my" house... I don't want it to be... just like it has been for generations before me, I want it to be a gathering place where people feel comfortable and loved... just like I always felt when I was there.

Love y'all,
Kacey